Steve, my husband, has been home since Friday because he threw his back out.  It was a pretty serious injury – enough so that he was bedridden from Friday to Monday night.  He’s finally (slowly) walking around now.  At the same time he is bedridden, my one year old daughter, Sierra, had the flu.  It was quite an exciting time in the Ryan household.  I was a mother, nurse, and even a tired zombie in the early mornings and late evenings. 

 

I have to be honest and admit that I had a few meltdowns.  I did good for a few days and Steve never saw me having a meltdown, but after about Sunday I couldn’t hold it back anymore.  I was so stinkin’ tired, mad and frustrated.  My husband can’t get out of bed, my daughter can’t keep food in her and I am running around trying to fix everyone to no avail.  It was not fun.

 

Steve was having a rough time.  He was bored, sore, hurting, drugged, and very unhappy.  He had his moments of clarity as well.  In those moments, I have to say that I learned alot.  He has so much more faith then I do!  Dang that stinks!  haha  (Not that it’s a competition, but still…)

 

He told me on Monday that if God is God, then He should heal him.  Pretty blunt.  He went on to say that there is no reason why God can’t be the God of Acts today.  If we believe it is the same God, then we should believe there is a posibility God will do healings.  Okay, so I agree.  However, God hadn’t healed him!  He was still laying in the friggin bed!

 

I went away from our conversation a little bothered that I had realized my faith was so weak.  Where was this God that I talked about serving?  Where was my faith and belief?  I remember a teaching I did years ago on faith.  Looking back, I was so stupid.  I’m sure the teaching was all Biblical, but I can guarantee you that I didn’t understand faith then like I do today.  In the teaching, I used a quote that was “Fear knocked at the door and faith answered.”  How true that statement is.  (Wish I could say that I was brilliant enough to come up with it, but I didn’t I stole it from someone and don’t know who.)

 

So, back to my story:  While mulling over the topic of faith, I was playing with Sierra in the livingroom.  I realized she was giggling again, playing, yelling, etc., etc.  I walked out of the room for a minute and came back to my kid actually walking for the first time… then I looked up and there was Steve in the hallway (on a walker, but out of bed!).  Looks like they both started walking at the same time! haha 

 

 I realized that my faith was so weak in the God that I serve.  However, no matter how weak we are – God is strong.  I always say: God is so faithful even when I am faithless.  That should be my life motto because I really can be very faithless.  God is good.

 

Whatever you are facing this week or going through, just know that even if you don’t have the faith to believe that God will come to your rescue – He will.  Hang in there.  He is faithful even when we’re faithless!